STRIPS & CHIPS @ MURPHY'S IRISH PUB I awoke this morning to find a tape recorded message in a manilla envelope on my door step, (well, more like a message on my answering machine). Another assignment from above. "It always starts like this," I thought to myself, "Just one more assignment," or, "Only you can pull this one off." (Actually more like, "Hey, Bobby, go check this place out.") The tape hissed like it was recorded in '73, but the words, "Your mission, if you choose to accept it..." were still clear enough to chill me to the bone. It seems I had been given the task of navigating the aluminum and stucco strip malls of Arvada searching for a particular eatery. After over an hour of unfruitful recon, I began to get that old familiar feeling ... IT'S A SET UP (I'm lost). I KNEW IT! I decided to head out of suburbia for the safety (and groovy fall colors) of the mountains. To my amazement, the gloomy strip malls of the high plains were replaced by only slightly newer and vaguely rustic mountain versions. I drove two hours through town after town of redwood and faux stone strip malls! Control must have set this whole thing up! I'm probably in some lab somewhere, on some mind controlling drugs (I wish). I KNEW THEY WERE UP TO SOMETHING! (Man I'm so lost.) Giving up my search for any kind of woodsy splendor, I settled in at Murphy's, a little Irish pub and grill, partly because of the bright green leprechaun waving from the sign, partly due to the largerthanlife concrete pig on the lawn out front. But mostly because it was one of the few places I found NOT in a strip mall. Once inside I knew for sure I was still in Colorado; baseball hats and sports attire abound. Overhead Mick Jagger whined out some attempt at a ballad while sports reigned triumphant on all the TV screens. Ahhh familiarity, though sometimes not one's first choice, it's always welcomed. After the twohour drive, settling into the hardwood seats was a little intense, but a mountain man wouldn't complain, so neither will I. The menu went somthing like this: beef, beef, beef, beef, pork, beef, beef, beef, (CHICKEN?) beef, beef, fish 'n' chips... I opted for Murphy's Patty Melt. A generous lump o' beef, pressed between two slabs of swirled rye, oozing with melted swiss cheese, and slathered in greasy brown grilled onions! YEAH! A SLATHERED, OOZING, PRESSED, LUMP! WHOOO! IT ROCKED! Hey, what did you expect? By now I was starved! It was served with Irish chips-- do you know the difference between Irish chips and french fries? I didn't either, but now as I am enlightened, so shall you be. French fries are cut along the length of the potato, sometimes being a little cumbersome and unnecessarily taking up more space on your plate, therefore allowing fewer fries for your buck! Ah, the French, so difficult, so selfimportant, so quick to overcharge! The Irish chip, however, is cut across the width of the potato, being easier to handle and taking up less space, offering more fries for the buck! All in all a much better potato (especially when you are as hungry as I was). Overall the food was really good, the service was outstanding and I wish I hadn't driven so far! If you are looking to escape the strip malls, try a history book! All Rights Reserved © 2001 Go-Go Media, LLC